The past year has been terribly difficult for those of us who have friends and loved ones in prison. It has been more lonely for those who are in prison--and perhaps worst of all for those incarcerated individuals who are intellectually/developmentally disabled (I/DD). The culprit was not the prison administration or the legislature. It wasn’t our own finances or transportation difficulties that kept us from seeing our loved ones. Instead, it was an invisible foe--one that we had no way to fight--the Coronavirus pandemic of 2020. And, now that 2021 is upon us, visitations continue to be an on-again/off-again situation.
To combat the mental and physical effects of isolation, prisons have extended phone time for inmates. In the state prison system where my son resides, they have doubled the phone time limit from 60 to 120 minutes per day. The downside is that phone time costs money. Not everyone is as privileged as others. Down a paycheck, because their loved one is in prison, and many with children to still care for, they cannot afford the cost of daily phone conversations, which at my son’s institution is just under a nickel per minute. I am fortunate, and I know it. My son’s institution’s service provider, Connect-Network, has also provided a free one-minute call per week since the pandemic started. It’s not much, but for those with no other option, it’s something.
However, as the mother of an individual who is I/DD, I know that one minute per week is not enough time to ascertain how my loved one is doing. From my experience, I know that sometimes it takes several minutes--or a whole phone call--to find out if there is something troubling him. Other times, he will be agitated from the git-go--when some unknown factor has set him off before our call--and one minute is not nearly enough time to get to the bottom of things, much less get him calmed down. I am able to keep my phone account funded, and so I know, that when my son and I have disagreed about something or something has bothered him, he will eventually call me back, and we can have a calmer conversation. Not so, if all we had was one minute per week.
It was so much better when I could also physically visit with him once a week or every two weeks. I know that he had fewer episodes of agitation, depression, or even physical complaints when we were able to have in-person visits on a regular basis. As it stands, we saw each other only a few times between February 2020 and mid-August when visits were suspended again.
Not only were there no visits after August, but my son’s situation changed drastically. Coronavirus hit the institution. Several individuals within his unit tested positive. However, because of the delay between testing and results, the administration probably was too late to manage it. Although he originally tested negative, my son chose to stay in the locked-down unit. Eventually, he too tested positive, extending the lockdown.
Lockdown meant that he and his cellmate would stay in their cell for approximately 23 hours per day. They would only be allowed out for showers. At first, this was every other day. It was finally relaxed to daily. This was his existence for over a month. Luckily, his unit was cleared of the virus on the last day of 2020, and they returned to somewhat normal.
Again, I was very fortunate to be able to speak with my son on a daily basis--through the headache, the Covid-coughing, the digestive symptoms, and the isolation. I was able to assess whether he was getting worse or, thank goodness, in his instance, better. I know that many others were not as fortunate.
Once that the institution reopened to the public again, Nebraska weather kept me from visiting my son. We were able to visit in mid-January, and that was our first visit since August. But, simply scheduling a visit can be problematic. First, you have to give three different date/time options. If you work, have children in school, care for other loved ones, it can be difficult enough to arrange for time off. Sometimes you will get no more than three days’ advanced notice. Not knowing which date and time will be approved adds one more stressor in an already stressed life.
On Friday afternoon, February 26th, I drove the 58 miles from Omaha to Lincoln to visit my son for the first time since mid-January. Due to unforeseen difficulties, I was late and therefore turned away. So that you can avoid what happened to me, I would suggest that you build in extra time for traffic problems, road work, weather, etc., and strive to arrive 15-30 minutes before your appointed time. Take it from me, they will not process you for a visit if you arrive late, no matter how far you’ve traveled.
Things are always changing. The Nebraska prison system is continually looking for ways to ease the problems associated with the pandemic. For those who can afford it, 30-minute remote video visits will soon be rolled out, at the cost of $12.99 per visit. That’s something. Right? I’m putting 2020 behind me and hoping for a happier new year. I sincerely hope that all of you are able to find ways to stay in touch with your incarcerated loved ones.
A follow-up to this story: My son’s unit went into lockdown once again starting on Thursday, March 11th.